If You Could All Keep It Down, That Would be Great

Hey, remember that time a co-worker invited you over to her house for one glass of wine to celebrate her new job offer? And then it turned into four... bottles? On a Wednesday? And you had to be at work at 7:30am the next day? Yeah. That was great.

I need to take my own hangover advice right now, but that whole "remaining-upright-while-at-work" thing is messing me up. My usual recovery routine looks a little like this:

1.) Sleep as long as possible. (In this case, that meant roughly 4 hours. I look darling today, in case you were wondering.)
2.) Roll out of bed slowly. Slowly being the key word here. Nothing is on fire; there is no need to do anything with any sort of urgency.
3.) Get some purple Vitamin Water (Revive) and get hydrating. Ideally this will happen over the course of several hours, preferably during a Law & Order marathon, or while watching Tommy Boy.
4.) Now that the "hydration" phase is complete, get some spicy food and a Coke. No viable spicy food options? Man, your life sucks. OK, any greasy food will do here. McDonald's or Taco Bell will work in a pinch.
5.) Get back on the couch. Don't be a hero and try to do laundry or hold up your end of a conversation with another human.

When did I decide to start living my life like it's a wacky sitcom, or start pretending it's 1999 and we can chalk up this level of poor decisions to youthful exuberance and naivete? This week, apparently.

In other news, congratulations K! Staff Development's gain is our loss. Don't forget about us on the other side of campus, OK?

UPDATE: Someone who is really annoying randomly brought in donuts for our office. Could there have been a better development in my day? No.