Fighting for the Right to Party Since 2006

Me: "What do you want to do for your birthday?"

Evan: "I want to CELEBRATE it!" (tiny fist pump in the air)


Nice to see the "party" gene hasn't skipped him.

Where Did You Get $240? Sshhh...

I dedicate this post to Miz Literature.

Does anyone else remember the TV show The State from MTV? It was on in the mid-90's and was quite possibly some of the goofiest, funniest, most random shit ever. Sometimes the sketches were stupid, but oh man...when they got something right those mothers NAILED it.

Plus, I love Ken Marino:

Here is where I would make a joke about him dipping his balls in something, but, like, 3 people would get it and the rest of you would just think I'm a sick perv.

I keep hearing rumors of a movie involving the cast and I'm not really sure how that would work. It would be like a Saturday Night Live movie: what the hell would the plot be? It's a sketch comedy program - would they try to tie in recurring characters to make some sort of cohesive plot? Would it be any good? Who am I kidding? I'd pay full price to see it. The soundtrack would be great.

Not really sure where I'm going with this, other than wondering if anyone else out there knows this show. I find that I quote from many of the sketches a lot in daily life, regardless if I think the person I'm talking to has any clue what I'm saying. Anyone? Bueller?

Her Genius May Not Be Fully Realized in This Lifetime

Message from Circlestar that has made my day - nay, I daresay my LIFE.

"You know you are THAT hungover when you Febreeze yourself."

Hello, Darkness My Old Friend

Is it bad that when I hear "The Sound of Silence" I immediately start giggling and think of Frank falling to the bottom of the pool after taking the tranquilizer dart in the neck?

Does this happen to anyone else? No? Oh, OK.

Why She's My Best Friend

Me: need a tagline for my blog. any ideas?

Lili: I got it - "you can't accuse me of cockblocking"

Me: I love you.

Lili: or... "your ass looks fat in those pants"

Can't Take Me Anywhere

Things that have made me laugh as of late:

-the word "erecting" in a campus-wide email about the new construction

-the phrase "swinging steel" in the same email

-quoting select lines from Pee-Wee's Big Adventure and Office Space at work

-doing Pee-Wee's "Tequila" dance in the elevator

-singing along to "Good Vibrations" by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch on the way to work

-Last weekend I accompanied my parents to buy a new faucet for the laundry room sink and totally held my shit together when the saleswoman suggested we get a "caulk hole cover" for the replacement. Say that phrase out loud. Now do it without laughing. I did, and then demanded my parents take me to ice cream for a treat. True story.

In other news, my current look could be described as Liz Lemon in Season 2 of 30 Rock. So I've got that going for me.

Area Baby Humiliated

Lili and Juno made it home to San Diego and sent off some pictures from their trip. I miss them terribly and cannot wait to see them again on Thursday.

"You have a baby. In a bar."

Yes, we took the baby to my favorite pub for lunch. But in our defense, we really wanted to day drink. Here's our girl showing a healthy enthusiasm for Guinness. Don't judge us - it's not like we were shotgunning Natty Light. I wasn't sure if we could bring her in - since it is a bar - but they serve food, so I figured it was worth a shot. At the very least, it would be her first time getting kicked out of a bar, right? I pointed at Juno and asked the bartender if she was allowed in. He answered, "The baby? [No, her 30 year-old mother, you idiot.] Sure, as long as she's not drinking." My reply was, "Oh God, no. She's driving." Nothing from him. Not even a smile. Come on, that was a little funny! I was quick with the reply! Man, tough room.

And here begins the Baby Humiliation for Our Amusement photo shoot. You know she's thinking, "Laugh it up now, bitches. I'll be choosing your nursing homes!"

Please note Mommy laughing hysterically as Juno plots her revenge against us. Uh, Kid, your mom went through 30 hours of labor WITH NO DRUGS. She will dress you as she pleases. Deal.

If this entire outfit was available in my size I would wear it. In public. I am 100% serious.

This is a girl after my heart: pink, green and orange in one outfit? That's what I'm talkin' about! Every time I see her in legwarmers I start singing "She's a Maniac" from Flashdance

My Other New Online Addiction (Still Not Porn)

I found this site thanks to "Que Sera Sera" and am fully addicted. It's anonymous notes to old loves. Basically, reading someone's diary but with his or her permission and no one gets embarrassed.

http://dearoldlove.tumblr.com/

Hopefully there's no limit to the amount of letters one person can submit.

We Need a Hero

Have you met D? I met D on Sunday and he is my new hero. He is basically the male version of my friend Katie, which is probably why they get along so well. The backseat of his huge truck (which makes my truck feel really wimpy) is filled with implants and hip replacement parts, which is kind of awesome. He is possibly the whitest guy ever and knows all the words to TI's "Whatever You Like" which makes for a fun drive downtown.

D started talking about some of his lady friends and this strapping young 26 year-old dropped that one of them is 40. I must have shot Katie a surprised look because she said, "This one's all about the Cougars."

On his (actually 42 year-old) lady:
"I love going over to her house. It's like being at your parents' house: it's really nice and smells good. I'm like her kid. I go through her pantry and shit."

That had me horrified for about a second, and then I couldn't stop laughing. I mean, it's pretty funny and I'm fairly certain that this grown woman who owns her (nice-smelling) home isn't really in this for the sparkling conversation. Good for her. She gets a hot young piece, he gets to raid her pantry. Seems like a win-win to me. Come to think of it, maybe this Cougar is my new hero.

The other great part about hanging out with D is watching him deal with running into a woman he hooked up with - several times - and failed to call. I'm not thrilled he did that, but considering this woman falls for his, "Sure, I'll call you" line repeatedly I have little sympathy for her. Plus, it's great entertainment to see a guy get thrown under the bus and nearly die from the sheer AWKWARDNESS that hangs in the air after she says, "Maybe you keep running into me as some sort of karmic fate. Maybe this is a sign that YOU SHOULD CALL ME." The other great part of this exchange? She's saying all of this as she's handing her kid quarters to play PacMan.

D and I need to hang out more.

Baby Mama, Hold the Drama

By some weird twist of fate, Baby Mama showed up today courtesy of Netflix. As much as I adore the work of Tina Fey I thought it looked stupid and wasn't enthused. The commercials always showed Amy Poehler peeing in the sink and if that's a highlight, I wanted none of it.

It's surprisingly funny and original and kind of sweet. And completely timely for this girl given my recent state of mind. There's even a scene where Tina's character, Kate, leans in to smell a baby in an elevator. I feel you, Sister.

Plus, Steve Martin plays a total jackass so that right there is pretty fantastic.

Here's your Tina picture for this week.

Amy Poehler is married to Will Arnett from Arrested Development so while I don't love her the way I love Tina, I really want to be friends with her.