Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Hypochondria: Not Just for Crazy Old Ladies

You know that person who gets a headache and immediately Googles "brain tumor" only to have the headache subside by the time she has convinced herself that she totally has all the symptoms?

Hi there.

My lips have been really dry and chapped and peeling and even bleeding a little (I know - eww) and I have no idea what prompted this. And nothing seems to work. The only thing I can think of is that I am dehydrated, but stepping up the water intake (thanks for the suggestion Habesha Child - I have been hydrating) hasn't really made a difference one way or the other. On the bright side, my lips are a little darker and pinker so I don't need to apply gloss or anything. Um...Yay?

I feel like a tool for looking up this kind of stuff on WebMD, but what if I am ignoring a common symptom of malaria or Avian bone syndrome or the Ebola virus? I have an English degree and I watch House so clearly I should be diagnosing this stuff with info cribbed from Wikipedia.

When I hear about women who don't realize they are pregnant until they are giving birth into a toilet, I am absolutely shocked someone could be so disconnected from her body because the slightest change and BLAMMO! my ass is consulting websites and frantically emailing doctor friends for free advice and reassurance.

For now, I am placing a bit of the blame on one of my parents who shall remain Dave because he is the king of the Worst Case Scenario. Allergic reaction to some funky peanut sauce? It's probably West Nile. Bump on my neck? Unborn twin tumor baby. No wonder I'm a mess.

UPDATE: Guess what is all better? Yeah. Turns out constant application of Kiehl's and Aquaphor AND drinking a shit-ton of water (shout out Habesha Child!) did work. Oh, and some patience.

2 comments:

Mo said...

Blistex Medicated. Trust me, it works. I prefer the green one over the maroonish one but both work.
I was going to tell you that I just read some freakish story on the internet about some rare Asian/European malady that has come stateside that makes people deathly ill and allergic to red wine, with the symptoms dried lips but...just couldnt do it to you.

Anonymous said...

oy - sorry the hydration thing isn't working.

seems i suck at diagnosis. maybe that is why i love watching House so very very much.

if you are going for topical remedies, i gotta throw in my vote for Fresh Sugar lip balm. it's like crack, though, and stupid expensive. so I don't recommend trying it unless you are prepared to keep buying it for the rest of your damn life.