Speaking of Geeky Pursuits...

I know I've mentioned this before, but I had (OK, maybe still have) a big ol' honkin' geeky-ass crush on Commander William T. Riker of the Starship Enterprise. To clarify, I do not have a thing for the actor who portrays him, Jonathan Frakes, nor do I really seek out any of his other work. My dork-love is directed at Riker. Because, you know, that is totally normal.

My crush dates back to the early 90's, when my mom would watch Star Trek: The Next Generation, we only had one television, and I decided to watch it with her once. This is probably more than a little odd considering I was 12 or 13. I mean, there was a more age appropriate character on the show - played by Wil Wheaton! - and I'm all up in Number One's grill? Yeah, I'll just let a few of you armchair psychologists ponder this one for awhile.

In my defense, I found him hottest when he grew the beard, but before he started packing on the pounds. But even aging and a little weight gain didn't diminish my love. I'm crazy, not unreasonable, remember?

Behold the object of my affection:

Come on...kind of attractive for an uptight white guy? Maybe? No? OK.

Still not convinced of how awesome he is? Watch this little clip and tell me it's not a total panty-dropper:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvY3jVJJKEI

Anyway, I guess I'm kind of excited to share this because recently I've found kindred spirits in unlikely places and I'm hoping maybe some of you will open up about your semi-embarrassing crushes, past or present. Let's hear them. Oh, and I know I'm opening myself up to ALL KINDS of harassment and mockery, but the heart wants what it wants.

Maybe This is the Wine Talking

This won't come as a shock to anyone who has known me for more than 30 seconds, but I was pretty late to the game when it comes to the dating thing. Girls who sweat Commander Riker on Star Trek: The Next Generation were not really prom queen material at SHP. My high school (and let's be honest: most of college) days were spent nursing crushes on my guy friends while being the funny sidekick. I was Duckie.

Consequently, I'm remarkably naive - some may even say clueless - when it comes to flirting, dating and dealing with the opposite sex. I'm honest to the point of freaking people out and I am missing the "play it cool" gene. Mama has no game, kids.

"Why do you want to walk me to the restaurant? Do you think I can't find it myself?"

"Why do you want my number? We just sat here and talked baseball. What, you want to call me later?"

When a guy chats me up I immediately look for the bucket of pig's blood in the rafters and wonder, "Maybe he needs me to tutor him in French" or "Maybe this is a dare like in She's All That" and then I remember I GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL ALREADY and my life is not a Freddie Prinze Jr movie. It may seem like I'm remarkably cynical, but I'm actually insanely trusting to the point where I get hurt repeatedly. At the very least, I'm always shocked when someone behaves in a less-than-honorable way. And I definitely don't get how someone could be so mean to another person after declarations of love and the desire to share a life together.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with all of this. It's just been a weird month or so of extremes among my friends and family: beautiful weddings and joyful pregnancy announcements or horrible heart-wrenching break ups. It has all made me reflect on relationships and love and all the stuff we go through. It's a miracle anyone ever gets together, really.