Tonight I will accompany my mom to Toys R Us.
Let me reiterate: I am going to Toys R Freaking Us during the holiday season. If I could just yank out a kidney and hand that to my mom instead, I would. I am googling "warning signs of a stroke" to see if I can fake one and be excused from this outing.
Yeah, yeah, it's for a good cause: we're picking up some things for a toy drive.
But so help me if some mothereffin' third grader in those godforsaken wheelie shoes knocks into me he best watch his ass because I WILL NOT HESITATE TO THROW DOWN, bitches.
Please, someone hold me.
UPDATE: I made it out of there alive, and we scored some awesome toys for kids who will surely enjoy and appreciate them. I managed to avoid any run-ins with children, but kept my keys in my hand at all times, much like I do when walking through a dark parking lot alone and I need to have a "weapon" on hand. So, who needs a babysitter?
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3 comments:
You may also want to pack a weapon just incase...
http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/local/inland_empire&id=6536536
good luck
My cousins on my mom's side were on lockdown at the Southcenter Mall shooting last week (or week before?). You heard about that, I'm sure. I hate that shopping - a favorite hobby - is now dangerous.
No shootings during our outing, just lots of frumpy women in sweatpants. Not lethal, but kinda scary.
glad you made it out alive! Yeah i heard about the Southcenter Shooting my bro had a co-worker stuck in the lock own.
Well I'm actually a little disappointed you didn't wear your pearl earrings and sweatpants, sure it's not taco bell but who doesn't like an excuse to be lazy.
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