Happy Birthday Kelly! aka "Do you have any jellybeans?"

So young! So innocent! Merry Christmas, December 1995.

Kelly and I have provided hours of entertainment and acted as alibis for each other since 1989. We met as goofy tweens in the 6th grade at St. Joseph's, moved on to high school together and were even freshman year roomies at the Puge. So, yeah... we've seen each other through some stuff. And by "stuff" I mean questionable hairstyles, boyfriends, and fashion choices. But through it all we can count on each other for support and a road trip to cure all. On the surface we have little in common. She's tall, I'm short. She's athletic, I sometimes walk without falling down. She's a little bit country, I'm a little bit rock-n'-roll. For some reason these things just don't matter and seem to add to our bond.

Kelly is possibly the only other person I've ever met who could rival my enthusiasm in the boy-craziness area during junior high and high school. And maybe even now? (Kidding, Duane. Uh, dude, you may not want to read parts of this.)

Kelly is an excellent wingwoman. (Seriously, Duane, this would be a good point for you to turn away.) She is quick with the opening icebreaker, an excellent flirt without being inane, and never cockblocks.

Kelly tried to talk me out of purchasing my Doc Marten boots, and failed. But she never gave me shit once I did and wore them every day of sophomore year of high school. However, I'm pretty sure she was secretly relieved when I started switching it up and quit dressing like I was on my way to a Pearl Jam concert every day.

Kelly is a country music fan and expanded my musical horizons by introducing me to some of her favorite artists. And you know what? I like some of it. There, I said it. Some of our best memories are from concerts I never would have attended had it not been for her nudging me out of my grunge-bubble.

Kelly loves Aerosmith, too, and our soundtrack from the summer of 1994 features them heavily. So, you know, she's a reasonable gal.

Kelly and I took a road trip to LA right after high school graduation. We had been planning it for four years, and it felt like such a grown-up person thing to do. We went to Disneyland, which was not the most grown-up thing to do. Basically, the perfect bridge between high school and college life.

Kelly has a horrible memory. She often asks me about someone's name, or a date, or what happened when. It's tempting to mess with her, but I don't. You're welcome, Belles.

Kelly lived with me for a year, during a time when I was...how do I put this? A complete and utter pain to be around. She managed not to throttle me and still takes my calls. This may be where the horrible memory plays in my favor.

Kelly has an awesomely patient boyfriend who will go out to dinner with us and listen while we blab non-stop back-and-forth and rattle off inside jokes. (Hi Duane! You can read this part!)

Kelly will do anything for her friends and family if it means it will improve their lives even slightly. From the practical (like a ride to the airport) to the emotional (holding your hand and doing a good luck chant/dance) she will step up. Always.

Belles, I have loved every minute riding shotgun and cooking up goofy schemes with you (Messing with Matt's car? Genius! Until we were caught.) and talking about real plans for our futures. This is going to be a great birthday, a great year and I look forward to celebrating many more with you!

Go Get Some Culture

Culture Organic Frozen Yogurt is open for business, people! Regular readers may remember my plug for a former classmate's new business venture. You've been working hard - go ahead and treat yourself to something tasty. You deserve it.

Mention my name and get verfication that Joey was my favorite New Kids on the Block.

http://culturefrozenyogurt.com/

Congratulations, Alexis and Mary!

Happy Birthday Elisabeth! aka "I like cheesy beans!"

(From Left to Right) Elisabeth, Christen, and Mary, 1st grade. (I have no idea what Mary is up to these days, but she was a nice girl.) We wore this exact outfit every day for 8 years. Should explain my aversion to plaid and polyester... and why I don't think the "schoolgirl fantasy" is hot.

Well, look who's 30! My BFF and partner in crime for 24 years: Elisabeth (aka Lili, Biff and several other names that we shall not mention here). I love this girl like a fat kid loves cake and I am so glad that distance and time and all of the craziness of life has brought us closer together over the years.

There are so many memories associated with this fine woman, but on the advice of counsel I will refrain from sharing some of them here. We don't need to add "co-defendants" to the list.

Elisabeth and I met in the first grade at St. Joseph's Elementary School and she knew a lot of the kids in our class from kindergarten, but she was nice and I think she tried to show me how to do flips on the monkey bars. Clumsy Christen stuck with the swings, thanks.

Elisabeth is an excellent driver...and she should be considering she's been driving cars since she was 12. She coerced a very innocent moi into being her co-pilot/look-out while we took the nanny's car for joyrides in Woodside. The two girls wearing the plaid uniforms and driving around in the hoopty on Stockbridge? Yeah, that was us.

Elisabeth is an excellent dancer (and kind of starting to sound like Rain Man here). We honed our booty-shakin' skills in her room, playing the same Janet Jackson and Dee-Lite tapes over and over again. Our Contempo Casuals outfits (with matching scrunchies, natch) gave these white girls from suburbia little extra somethin' I think.

Elisabeth took me on a whirlwind adventure in New York City and introduced me to one of the great loves of my life: Anthropologie. (I would reject her attempts to set me up with one of the great loves of her life: the gin and tonic.) We drank, ate, shopped, and danced our way through Manhattan during the summer of 2000 and it remains one of my favorite vacations.

Elisabeth called me from France on my birthday to make sure the scarf she sent arrived in time. It did, and it's fabulous and I still wear it, bitches. Same goes for the pink clutch she got me a few years later.

Elisabeth encourages me to blatantly - perhaps inappropriately? - hit on her family friends. I'm pretty sure this is for her own amusement, but who doesn't love a good train wreck? Call me boys. Mama's back on the West Coast.

Elisabeth bravely asked me to be her maid of honor when she married Nick two years ago this week (Happy Anniversary, Kids!), knowing this would mean I would get up in public and talk about her. In front of her Nana and Papa. With a glass of alcohol in my hand. She still talks to me regularly so I guess we're cool.

Elisabeth is just flat-out brilliant. Ace Latin in junior high? Sure! Double major from Bryn Mawr? No problem! Acupuncture and Chinese medicine? Yeah, she'll just finish up that program while getting ready to give birth to her firstborn, the beautiful Juno Constance. But the thing is, she doesn't talk about this stuff or mention it or act like it's extraordinary. See why it's hard to hate her?

Sweet Girl, I could go on and on and tell lots of stories. Aside from the adventures in grand theft auto I kept them pretty tame here on the off chance your family stumbles upon this. I hope your day brings much joy and happiness as you have a new member of the family to join the party. The next year is going to be great and I look forward to more adventures, bottles of wine and shopping. My God, the shopping... Bisous!

Happy Birthday Hank aka "Babe Says It's Good for My Complexion"

Another installment of "One of Christen's Friends is Having a Birthday, So Here's Some Fun Facts" for you. Today, the spotlight is on Amy.

Amy transferred to Sacred Heart at the beginning of junior year, which is kind of intense if you think about it. I mean, switching high schools at halftime? Whoa. Anyway, we had a bunch of classes together and she seemed nice so I started chatting her up. She was freaked out about French, and I offered to help. I was spazzing about Algebra II/Trig, and she offered to help. And a friendship was born! Amy and I were also the least likely candidates for cheerleading but there we were, shaking our booties and getting R-O-W-D-Y at basketball games.

Amy knows the movie Can't Buy Me Love inside and out so she is one of the best people I have ever met.

Amy and I were the lone teetotalers in our group of friends, which means the designated drivers/babysitters. We were grateful to have each other; wrangling four other drunk chicks ain't easy if you're alone.

Amy will roll down all the car windows and blast the song "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails and sing along with you when you're having a bad day and need to let off some steam.

Amy is an amazing artist and would make all of our friends gorgeous presents in her pottery class.

Amy is always up for going to Hobee's and always orders the Hi-Hat Hashbrowns.

Amy is married to a swell guy named Troy. He and I often act like we are five years old when together and she patiently tolerates this.

Amy has given birth to two of my favorite people on the planet, Madison and Johanna. I actually sleep better at night knowing that these young women will grow up and help run this nation one day. They are brilliant, sensitive, kind, curious ladies and if I have kids I will totally let Amy raise them because clearly she is doing something right.

Amy will offer, in all sincerity, to fly across the country and help you move...during her vacation.

Amy is a veterinarian so of course I think she is a goddess. And she totally is.

Happy birthday, Foxy! You are adored and missed more than you could ever know!

Won't You Join the Culture Club?

Like organic food? Like frozen yogurt? Want to support a locally-owned family business? Of course you do!

Culture Organic Frozen Yogurt Shop is opening in Palo Alto in September. Read all about it here: http://www.culturefrozenyogurt.com/

Why am I so excited? Well, one of the founders, Alexis Beckman, is a former St. Joseph's/Sacred Heart classmate. She is married to another former classmate, Ricardo, and they are the proud parents of three year-old James.

Alexis, James and Ricardo - what a cute family!

Alexis and I had seen each other at class reunions, but Facebook has put us back into semi-regular contact. Thanks, Interweb! If you are on Facebook, you can become a fan of Culture Organic Frozen Yogurt there, too! Check back here or the Culture blog (link is above) for updates on the official opening date. Congratulations to Alexis and her team!